A Student Perspective
‘I’m OK (I Promise)’: Growing into Myself
BY SAMANTHA DIDRICHSEN
Born and raised on Long Island, I had wanted to be an early childhood educator since graduating from high school. Never in my dreams did I imagine that the girl with anxiety and a fear of public speaking would grow into a woman who could speak to an entire auditorium of adults on education research. And yet, here we are.
Samantha Didrichsen with her husband, Wes, and friends Grace and Joy at an end-of-year LAI gathering.
My husband and I came to Buffalo before my doctoral program was even on the horizon. I was an early childhood special educator serving young children with developmental delays and disabilities, and we had moved to Buffalo for a better quality of life. There came a point in my time working here when I realized that my teaching certificate was an incredible asset, not because of the specialization, but because there weren’t enough providers to serve all the children in the city and region. With classrooms and programs closing and children going without special education services, I decided to do what many people said I should have done years earlier: Apply to the CISL [curriculum, instruction and the science of learning] program at UB in 2021.
During my first semester, I experienced a crazy level of imposter syndrome. Was I seriously doing this? Who gave me the right? It went so far as to spontaneously buy My Chemical Romance tickets and have an emo-midlife crisis.
But once that first big paper was on my plate, I went to work and knew I’d be fine. I maintained my confidence and kept working on one paper after another.
Before long, it came time for my dissertation of which I’m exceptionally proud. My doctoral study seeks to understand the phenomenon of burnout in early childhood special educators and how we can best support their mental well-being. It’s here where I find I’ve come full circle! If anyone had known me in my first year of teaching, you wouldn’t have recognized me. From the toxic environment to the abusive tactics, the school I was in was destroying me. The funny part is that I didn’t even decide on that topic because of my experience! I was inspired by a research article on why student teachers choose to leave education upon graduation. It wasn’t until I started writing my literature review that I realized, “Wow, I’m writing about me!”
It’s my hope that, with my PhD, I’ll help create a high-quality early childhood special education teacher preparation program here in Western New York to supplement the few existing programs. I’m also incredibly excited to continue my work on burnout and teacher well-being. I’d love to work with preservice candidates in the future, using what I’ve learned from my research to help them succeed in their transition into the profession.
I love the peers I’ve met in GSE and wouldn’t have graduated this spring without them. Working on your PhD isn’t an easy task! It’s so important to be able to have people who can understand what you’re going through and give you much-needed support. I’m very lucky to have found my people here in GSE.
GSE Students: Interested in sharing your student experiences and perspectives in Learn magazine? Contact us at gsenews@buffalo.edu.