The new schoolyard: Understanding and preventing cyberbullying

Cyberbullying is similar to traditional forms of bullying, except it occurs in online spaces or through digital media devices. With any form of bullying, we look for three characteristics of the behavior. First, the person is trying to harm another person intentionally. Second, the harm is repetitive or likely to be repeated. And, third, there’s a power imbalance between the person engaging in the bullying behavior and the person experiencing it.

However, if somebody tells you that they feel hurt or unsafe, and their experience doesn’t tick off those three boxes, that doesn’t mean you should ignore what they’re saying.

Cyberbullying occurs wherever teenagers spend time. We often see it on popular social media or gaming apps. Adolescents always seem to be one step ahead of us with their technical skills and knowledge, so it can be tricky to develop effective prevention and intervention strategies.

Children and adolescents experiencing cyberbullying tend to report higher levels of social isolation, depression, anxiety, sleep problems and aggressive behavior. We often see social children become more withdrawn or less active on their phones. Sometimes children and adolescents increase their media use after experiencing cyberbullying because they want to ensure that someone’s not posting about them online.

As parents, we might think, “I’ll just take your phone away.” But, that can create more anxiety and won’t make the problem disappear.

Take a beat. Try to stay calm and regulate your emotions before talking it through with your child. There’s nothing more important than just listening. Validate what your child went through and how they’re feeling. Believe them. Then, problem-solve with your child and let them take the lead in brainstorming solutions that would improve the situation.

We’re often quick to blame our students, whether they’re bullying or being bullied. Educators and school staff must look at their own behaviors and attitudes and model positive relationships, so those behaviors trickle down to the students.

Schools also need a variety of easy ways for students to report cyberbullying. Maybe it’s making sure that students feel comfortable talking to adults within the school. Perhaps it’s an anonymous reporting app or page on the school’s website. Maybe it’s teaching students to be prosocial bystanders and showing them how to report bullying behavior for other students.

The Alberti Center for Bullying Abuse Prevention’s website has resources for educators, parents and students on cyberbullying and online safety.